I was on a fairly packed bus a while ago. It was just after 6pm, tired people coming home from work. At one of the stops, the driver normally hands over to another driver. So he stopped the bus, turned off the engine and proceeded to gather his things. For the next minute or so I had a surreal experience. I was sitting amongst 20 or so people towards the back and everyone was SILENT, either looking ahead or reading. Someone's iPod was playing. I almost felt like saying "So how was everyone's day?". Nobody knew each other and I guess that is then the norm. People just want to be left alone. It often happens that someone is abused or attacked in the presence of by-standers and the by-standers either pretend not to notice or do absolutely nothing. Don't get involved, don't get hurt.. but I digress. In a densely packed city where people are around lots of others very often, we are completely detached from those around us.
I live in a block of 4 units. I've been here for almost 5 years. Over this time I have only spoken regularly with two of my neighbours. Both have moved since then. Now I have 3 neighbours with whom I have not spoken (apart from a token Hi, How are you?). How many other people don't know their neighbours? Is there any reason why people shouldn't know their neighbours? This made me want to organise a BBQ and invite everyone in my block, not only to get to know them but to give them a chance to get to know each other. I figure that if that is the only contact I'll have with some of them it'll be better than what we have now.
So what is this social norm that we have developed? Is it a generalisation to say that people who live in the country value their community much more than those in a city? In this age of individualism and survivalism, are we forgetting the benefits of community? Now if it's a good thing to get to know your neighbours then where do you draw the line? Is someone living two houses away not your neighbour?
Is it a good idea to connect to people you encounter anywhere? Aren't we all a part of the 'human community'? Remember Lion King? 'We are One'? A lot of Tool's songs contain this theme too - 'Schism', 'Right in Two'. We are unique and the Other is someone foreign and different. We are constantly reminded of our differences. We can't relate to or connect to some people because they're not like us. It's so hard to believe that we COULD be like them. We could become homeless. We could be suffering, hungry, injured, assaulted or be facing the multitude of issues others face. But most of the times we're not and so it's easy to stay detached. Is it a fear of something bad happening if we try to connect? Are we kept busy by our lifestyles and don't have time? Would you react differently if it was your good friend?
My goal this week is to talk to strangers at every opportunity.
To be continued...
