#9 A Conversation

I’m coming home from work and just got on the bus. It takes about half an hour. It’s a good time to read a book, but today I just sit and watch people. A guy gets on a couple of stops later. He’s probably a few years older than me, wearing a business suit with a pale blue shirt and looking like he’s had a long day.

About 5 minutes pass. The guy gets out his phone and answers it. He talks fairly loudly so I easily overhear the following conversation. It’s a loose summary:


“Hey mate. Yeah, just left about 15 minute ago. I should be there in about 10…. Haha. Tell me about it! It’s still not finished. We’ll probably have to work this Saturday… Yeah. I know I’ve done my part… but Geoff (boss?) knows I’m the senior so he’s heaped it on me…

Haha… fuck off. I’m not doing that… This isn’t the movies, mate. Haha… yeah well… (speaks more quietly) I’m on the bus. I’ll talk to you later… I know he’s doing something. It’s pretty easy to tell the way he’s so paranoid. Does Stacey come in to chat to you every day?... I know… And Geoff’s put in that new log with the swipe cards. He knows exactly when and who comes and goes. I bet you he… yeah… well remember I told you when I got into one of his folders accidentally?... Yeah, exactly. I bet he watches all the CCTV footage too, takes it home, the freak…

Hahaha… Piss off. That’s just wrong… As much as I’d like to, it’s not gonna happen… I think she’s got a guy already. And how do you expect me to bring it up? Oh. How was your weekend? Ok. Nice. You wanna romp in the back room after work? Hahaha… (looks around and notices me watching him)… Shut up. I’m on the bus, mate. I’m gonna go… No as if! When did she ever give that impression? She probably wants some rich fuck from legal… Did you see Janna with Williams last Friday?... I know. I’ve got no chance… Hahaha. Maybe. You never know. They probably get sick of the guys working with them. You’re right… Ok, mate. I gotta go. I’ll give you a call tomorrow.


So there you have it. An average weeknight bus trip from the city. Normal people coming home after a day at work. Some sit there playing with their phones, some are reading, others are staring out the window. Some guy takes out his phone and has a conversation… nothing out of the ordinary.

Well. Now think about this. That guy. That was me. And there was nobody talking to me on the phone. I just held it up to my ear for 10 minutes during my ‘conversation’. For 10 minutes, I was talking loudly enough for people to follow me. For 10 minutes, I was talking to myself and nobody felt bothered by it at all.

Now take the phone out of the equation. Imagine me sitting there talking to myself. How do you think people would feel? Why?

Should we give paranoid schizophrenics a phone to hold up to their ear? What is wrong with talking to yourself? You know, I was just thinking the same thing. Interesting question.

#8 To Bake or not to Bake

s28 of the Residential Tenancies Act 1987 (NSW) outlines the landlord's responsibility for urgent repairs. In the definition of urgent repairs, it includes:

"a failure or breakdown of any essential service on the residential premises for hot water, cooking, heating or laundering"

The question I'm asking is this: is an OVEN an essential service for cooking that must be repaired urgently? Or is it something without which one can live for a few weeks?

Actually, I already know the answer and it is that an oven doesn't constitute an urgent repair. If you argued this at the Tribunal, you would be ridiculed and your application would be dismissed under the section for dismissing laughable applications. You could then come home to your broken oven, cook a delicious meal on your STOVE and survive for as long as the stingy landlord takes to repair the oven.